Achieving personal and career goals is impossible without communication, sometimes very personal. But sometimes you need to talk to a silent person. It is difficult for a person who is secretive or unwilling to make contact to get the necessary information. A few simple but effective tricks can solve this problem.
Simple Ways to Talk Silent
To talk a closed person you need to learn to listen. Such people feel insecure or annoyed if the interlocutor is chatting non-stop, “runs over” from topic to topic, asks a lot of questions. Under such pressure, the poor fellow even more withdraws into himself, is more silent and tries to escape from conversation as quickly as possible. After such a fiasco, he will not soon want to talk again.
To get information in a conversation, you need to ask questions correctly.
There are two kinds of questions: closed and open. The first type involves short and monosyllabic answers, so you should use open-ended questions.
- Take an interest in opinion, include the silent person in the discussion, force him to “open” for communication.
- Discuss not only those topics that will help you learn something interesting, but also some everyday moments, starting from the place of birth and ending with bad weather outside the window.
The cause of isolation may be:
- fear of disgrace
- inability to communicate.
Think before you ask a question, so as not to hurt and "scare" a person.
It is advisable to think ahead of the upcoming conversation and guess the time and place where to hold it. A taciturn will be less tense if he sees that the conversation is confidential and absolutely safe for him.
Service for Information Method
There may be other reasons for stealth. From time to time, a person does not want to talk because of a bad mood, or in situations where he is in a hurry, feels sick, feels resentment or dislike for you. If a person’s discontent is temporary, it makes sense to postpone communication for the next time. Otherwise, it is recommended to stay friendly and calm. To make amends, offer selfless help in a small matter, this will soften the attitude of the silent person to you and allow you to establish more personal communication with him.
If there is no way to improve relations with the silent words, this can be done.
Hint to him that you can help with any problem in exchange for the necessary information. Try to find out what problems this person suffers from and offer help in resolving them, but only in exchange for information.
Personal conversation with a loved one
If you somehow offended your soul mate, relative or close friend, it is better to give them the opportunity to "cool down" so that the upcoming conversation goes quietly on both sides.
To conduct a frank conversation with anyone, you need to be prepared. A personal conversation is more fruitful and friendly during a common business lesson.
The secretive “half” usually tries to evade conversation, translate everything as a joke or, having different outlooks on life, does not understand the essence of the issue.
Try to seriously, but in a friendly way, explain that the future of your couple depends on this conversation. In order to be understood, ask clear and short questions that cannot be interpreted otherwise.
The first acquaintance with a silent person is often unsuccessful. During a date or when pouring into a team, I want to get an idea about a person. But this is difficult if this person does not want to reveal himself.
At the first meeting, you should take a leading role, have a confident conversation, using open questions in order to find out the details, and closed to receive specific answers. Keep open and friendly, confident, but not tough, trying to arouse sympathy and trust from the partner.
From secretive people you can get answers in a friendly and calm manner. Silence only tell their secrets if they trust.
How to talk introvert?
It is always difficult to talk with closed and reserved people. They are unlikely to support the conversation or start it first. Often you hear monosyllabic answers from them. And sometimes you want to talk with a person you like, or you just need to get some information. Is everything as complicated as it seems? How to talk a person who does not want to talk?
It turns out that there are several ways in which to speak a silent person. This article provides the most effective ones.
Often people who are closed in themselves speak so little because of some kind of psychological trauma: maybe in the past someone offended them or even betrayed them, maybe they suffered from their credulity to people. In this case, you should convince him that you can be trusted, that you know how to keep secrets and do not betray friends. It will require patience and quite a long conversation with the introvert.
3. Leading questions
Do not forget that in communication with the introvert you will have to take matters into your own hands. At first, it was you who should strive to maintain a conversation, ask leading questions. In addition, with the help of these questions you can get the information you need that you can use in future communication.
4. No hint
Formulate your speech accurately. Do not say hints, this can confuse the interlocutor. At first, it’s not even worth joking, so as not to spoil the relationship with a taciturn person.
Surely many noticed that the words we wrote, the described feelings, are very difficult to pronounce out loud. Communicating in social networks, via SMS, it is easier for people to talk about what they have in mind. Try to talk to the introvert using messages, most likely, he will tell more than in life. Moreover, you will already know what it is best to talk about, what interests him.
Learning to build relationships with taciturn people is already a science. This will require your charm skills, good speech, and patience. Few people will be able to talk silently from a half-turn. Even if he liked you, he may not show it to the last, hiding behind a mask of indifference.
Of course, the easiest way to communicate with friendly and open people. But what if an introvert gets in your way? Sometimes behind this image of a taciturn, secretive person lies a bright, but subtle-feeling soul.
Surely you will not regret that you learned how to talk to an introvert and you can later look into his mysterious inner world when communicating with him. Indeed, even a self-enclosed person can turn out to be an excellent interlocutor if you find the right approach to him.
Reasons for silence
Using the ability to manipulate a closed person, you can achieve a lot without much effort, cleverly bringing the conversation back on track.
To begin with, it is worth determining the causes of isolation:
- fear to trust
- self-doubt or people
Make a conversation plan in advance and decide where the conversation will take place. Find out or remember a person’s preferences regarding food, drinks. It’s imprudent to invite a person who likes reading books and classical music to the sports bar. Besides irritation, you will not see any emotions.
Your well-being and mood also play an important role, if you are upset, tired or excited, refuse the conversation, reschedule it the next time.
Try to overcome a person’s mistrust by telling him your secret, albeit not very important. This will allow him to unconsciously respond with confidence in your behavior, because it is much easier to open up to a person who is sincere with you and depends on you. This method is often used by bosses to their subordinates, trying to find out the secrets and moods within the team.
The conversation should proceed in a calm manner, the words are selected as friendly as possible.
It is worth refraining from pressure attempts, it will not be pleasant to anyone to open thoughts under interrogation. A person should want to answer you himself, and if you drag word by word from it with ticks, then nothing good will come of it.
To begin with, it is worth having a casual conversation on abstract topics. Choose a comfortable environment, treat the interlocutor with his favorite drink. The main issue you are interested in must be selected from afar.
Your silent friend should not feel discomfort, so communication should be on an equal footing. The fewer annoying factors initially, the more successful the conversation as a whole will turn out.
Be careful with questions.
There are two types of questions:
- closed (answers to which will be monosyllabic),
- open (you can ask a person’s personal opinion about music, learn about the route of public transport).
Completely abandon the habit of having a conversation without stopping, in the hope of talking to the interlocutor. A man will become even more enclosed in himself.
Do not interrupt the interlocutor, it is better to remain silent and express consent with gestures. Express genuine interest in his words
There is a proven method based on questions that will make the interlocutor recall their childhood, youth, vacation at sea or skiing. It will not work in a monosyllabic way. The more he will be carried away by memories, the higher the chances that in a conversation about the past something will become clear that interests you.
Features of communication with the child
Many children talk without stopping, describing everything that they see, hear and feel. But even among them there are silencers. It is important to be patient, it may take more than one week until the child gets used to you and entrusts his secrets.
Psychologists noticed that those children, whom parents often hug and kiss, give full tactile communication, are much better at contact.
Everything is based on trust and love. If the child has a favorite item or toy, use them in a game attempt to win over you.
Sometimes it is very difficult to communicate, many experience problems in this area, but do not try to overcome their tongue-tied language. Constant practice in a short time will make you a specialist in the field of manipulation.
Over time, you no longer have to painfully select words in an attempt to talk to a silent interlocutor. Try your hand everywhere, and very soon you will see the result of your training.
You can talk to any person, he will not even suspect about it. It all depends on the level of your skill and eloquence.